Revenge Of The Ninja (1983)

I honestly cannot even begin to imagine what prompted me to watch Revenge of the Ninja, an obscure entry in the largely forgotten 80s ninja movie genre – if I had to guess, I was drunk and didn’t want to try watching something that I actually intended on remembering. Whatever the reason, I thank my lucky (ninja) stars that I stumbled across this wonderful, horrible, magical, hideous film which manages to be both flamboyantly over-the-top and brutally violent. Revenge of the Ninja is some kind of trash masterpiece: yes, it’s objectively awful, but there’s also something inexplicably mesmerizing lurking below the surface of this seemingly haphazard ninja cash-in. It’s unexpectedly visually compelling, with mystic ninja battles occurring on banal American settings like tennis courts, generic office buildings, playgrounds, and a rooftop finale set against the stunning city landscape of…Salt Lake City.

Undoubtedly, the coup de grace is when star Sho Kosugi battles the Village People in a glorious fight scene in which every action seems legitimately dangerous to the performers involved. After Sho kicks their asses outside of a warehouse (including the classic “drag your opponent face-first down a long flight of stairs” maneuver), the bad guys attempt to escape in a VW van. Unfortunately for them, but very fortunately for us, Sho chases after them, continuing to assault them from the roof of the van, and then ultimately karate kicking through the windshield of said van. Eventually, some people get hacked with axes, some necks get broken, some shots are fired, and our hero’s body is dragged from behind the moving van for several hundred feet. It’s brutal and hilarious and gratuitous and spectacular. I implore you – watch this scene, watch Revenge of the Ninja.