This thoroughly entertaining early Arnold film, in which he plays a disgraced former FBI agent gone back undercover to seek revenge on a Chicago mafia boss, thankfully never takes itself too seriously.Of course, going undercover to avenge one man’s death entails Arnold working for said mafia boss and doing various nefarious deeds to prove his mettle, including: faking his death in a needlessly overdramatic fake explosion, helping the boss kill other rival crime bosses, stealing back millions of dollars in heroin and cash that had been seized by the police (by means of organizing an explosion inside of a police station), engaging in numerous violent shootouts in public places, and generally endangering the lives of innumerable innocent citizens. Now, please enjoy the following verbatim lines of dialogue from Raw Deal’s hilarious script:
Mark Kaminsky: [After ducking a cake that has just been tossed at his face by his angry, drunken wife] You should not drink and bake!
Mark Kaminsky: [Splashing red paint in some guy’s face] This is what you’re going to look like dead!
Mark Kaminsky: [Solemnly, in almost unintelligible accent] He molested, murdered and mutilated her.
Baker: [reading ID] Joseph P. Brenner. What’s the “P” stand for?
Mark Kaminsky: Pussy.
Mark Kaminsky: This must be what they mean by poetic justice.
Mark Kaminsky: You’re under arrest.
Fake State Trooper: For what?
Mark Kaminsky: Impersonating a human being.
Perhaps most incredible of all are the following two items:
- The producers somehow convinced The Rolling Stones’ management to let them use “(I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction” during the film’s finale (in which Arnold brutally murders the entire crime syndicate, rendering the rest of the movie utterly pointless).
- Arnold inspires a crippled man to walk during the film’s epilogue. After this heartening finale, which, might I remind you, immediately follows dozens upon dozens of homicides, the film ends on a freeze-frame of the two men in a loving embrace.
Needless to say, Raw Deal is a worthy time waster.
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