Event Horizon (1997)

If Alien was famously pitched as “Jaws in space,” than Event Horizon could be accurately described as a big, dumb Hellraiser in space.

Brain Dead (1990)

This half-baked Twilight Zone episode unfortunately does not live up to the hype I’d created in my own head after years of wondering about the strange and very cool poster art. While Brain Dead is hampered by a low budget and flat direction, it’s got enough up its lab coat sleeve to remain passably entertaining. And, without a doubt, if you love scenes in which a glass jar holding a brain specimen falls to the fall and shatters, Brain Dead is the movie for you.

Beverly Hills Cop II (1987)

It’s hard to work up much of a reaction to this assembly line, by-the-numbers sequel. In director Tony Scott’s second straight summer smash (following 1986’s Top Gun), Eddie Murphy does slightly post-vintage Eddie stuff, and the action and laughs are parceled out consistently enough to stave off boredom.

Top Gun (1986)

As far as summer blockbusters go, Top Gun is almost quaint by today’s standards: the travails of a Navy pilot flying simulated missions in training school? Even a Navy pilot engaged in real warfare would be small scale for most studios today, unless the war was being waged against giant robots or malevolent aliens.

Gerald’s Game (2017)

It’s hard for me to review Gerald’s Game without going into my complicated relationship with Stephen King (this is what journalists call “an awful lede”). I started reading King when I was about 10 and his were among my first “adult” novels. The Shining, in particular, had a devastating affect on my not-yet-fully-developed mind. Beyond the ghouls and ghosts, it was my first exposure to a concept less fantastic but far more disturbing – the crushing unhappiness of adulthood.

I, Tonya (2017)

I, Tonya lends credence to the cliché “If this story didn’t really happen, you’d never believe it.” In fact, one of the highlight comes during the end credits, when we see actual interview footage from the participants and realize how little the filmmakers needed to accentuate their outlandish personalities or staggeringly poor judgment. Unfortunately, this jolt of meta amusement is symbolic of I, Tonya‘s fleeting, insubstantial gratifications.

Dead Ringers (1988)

While luridly thrilling in concept, Dead Ringers is disappointingly flat in execution. The film is a fictionalized (heavily fictionalized, one hopes) account of brilliant twin gynecologists (both played by Jeremy Irons) who run a thriving practice and conduct award-winning research.

Margot At The Wedding (2007)

Noah Baumbach’s best characters are beautiful messes – complicated, deeply flawed, self-destructive. The problem with Margot at the Wedding, about a dysfunctional family of artists and oddballs, is that Baumbach can’t make this freak show sufficiently sympathetic or relatable. Undoubtedly, he feels a kinship for this unruly clan – he’s too clever to create these characters just for the sake of hating them – but he’s not able to transfer that affinity to the audience.

Nobody Speak: Trials of the Free Press (2017)

Like me, you’ve probably heard two things about the Netflix-distributed Nobody Speak: 1.) That it follows the high-profile lawsuit former pro wrestler Hulk Hogan filed against former muck-raking website Gawker and 2.) That it is unexpectedly fantastic. Unfortunately, both of those points are only half-truths.

It (2017)

This crowd-pleasing horror film is a faithful adaptation of half of Stephen King’s famous novel, inheriting most of the book’s best and worst qualities. A ragtag group of outsider teens band together to battle an evil presence (which manifests itself as a preening, demonic clown) stalking their scenic Maine village.