How bad could The Predator be, I foolishly thought? The reviews were less than sterling and, alarmingly, the internet film community didn’t appear particularly motivated to either attack or defend The Predator. But could an R-rated sci-fi/action genre film directed by Shane Black, co-written by Black and Fred Dekker, and with an ensemble featuring the likes of Sterling K. Brown and Keegan-Michael Key possibly be boring? Unfortunately, I’m here to tell you The Predator is bad. Bad and dumb. Bad, dumb, and, worst of all, boring.
Much like the litany of dismembered corpses left in its ultra-gory wake, The Predator is a fucking mess. It rings a few droplets of fun from its ragtag group of dysfunctional soldiers (Key, in particular, stands out), though the toxic masculinity of Black’s dialogue is less palatable than ever. But that’s about it. Broadly speaking, The Predator suffers from a disastrous screenplay. Not only is Black’s trademark irreverent punch drastically watered down, but the movie’s structure is borderline incoherent.
The Predator’s entire third act was reshot after poor test screenings, but this doesn’t seem to be a case in which the flaws of the final product are a result of post-production tinkering – this movie was never going to work and no re-shoots or re-edits were going to change that. I hate to dwell on plot holes, but absolutely nothing makes sense here (spoilers to follow): If the titular creature has come to Earth to save us, why does he seem hell-bent on slaughtering every human he encounters? Why build up Brown’s character so much only to dispose of him with a minor, barely noticeable death? How can a film that relies on pro-military sympathy for emotional beats in many scenes feature a climax where our protagonists gleefully murder other soldiers who are ostensibly just doing their jobs? Why does Black go out of his way to showcase the practical effects work in early scenes only to push that aside for gratuitous, horrendous CGI?
Weighed down by such inconsistencies and crucial flaws, The Predator quickly grows tedious. Far from reaching the pinnacle of Arnold’s ‘80s classic, this misfire can’t even match the modest pleasures of Predator 2.
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